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Interesting theory about news April 17, 2009

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Education, Grad school, Media, New Media, Superfluous musings.
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A friend had an interesting point about newspapers today. We were talking about the speed with which newspapers are closing up shop these days; how 2-3 years ago the expectation was that the huge dailies (NYT-caliber) and the ultra-local small papers will survive, while everything else will be extinct thanks to declining subscriptions and advertising rates (cragislist killed the paid classifieds, which is – surprisingly – even more important than glossy ads for many print publicatons). Today, it turns out even older generation readers are canceling their ultra-local newspaper subscriptions because they get all their “news” online. Even highly educated friends of mine are enamoured with the “news” they have access to at their fingertips, 24/7, video virtually as-it-happens, and they like being able to participate in the “news”-shaping and read mostly blogs, etc. But then I have to stop and think about it – are they really getting “news” in the strict definition of the term? They are certainly getting a lot more commentary and even pure value-deprived entertainment… at least based on what I was taught in j-school just four years ago. So why are people so quick to embrace all of this other stuff that’s marketed as “news.” Well, partly because it’s tailored to their world view and interests (narrowly focused topic-based blogs, entertianing vidoes, slanted media outlets (read: Fox, MSNBC, Air America, etc.). But partly because it’s all become so ubiquitos and we’ve all become so impatient.

When the plane recently crashed in the Hudson, I remember a PR colleague say he specifically experimented with tracking all the blogs, i-reporter style web sites, various other online outlets and the big ones – i.e. the old school journalism outlets… Turns out NYT.com was the last of the bunch to upload a story. Why? Because their reporters, despite witnessing the event as-it-happened, did some journalism – they called sources in the mayor’s office, the fire department, first responders, etc. and tried to gather and confirm facts. Everyone else beat them – eyewitnesses with video-capturing cell phones who uploaded nearly real-time, etc.

At any rate, I have recently been wondering a lot about how quickly things are shifting in the communications industry. When I started in PR 2.5 years ago, we were targeting top outlets for the highest impact, most top-tier readers reached, etc. Now, we tout targeting the narrowest of publications, the most niche blogs, because readership continues to splinter into interest groups and that’s where the most powerful impact can take place.

My friend’s point was that perhaps it will take a cataclismic event, a rock-bottom of sorts, that will help people see what they’re truly being fed as “news” and only then will we as readers and consumers revive our thirst for fact-checking, balanced journalism. (The real kind, now “fair and balanced” as in Fox branding.) It’s interesting isn’t it? She even compared it to the economy with a metaphor – both will hit rock bottom (as they are spiraling out of control now) before we see a curve toward recovery.

I think this is fascinating time. Part of me wants to be in grad school to observe and analyze… but perhaps a bigger part of me wants to be in the business itself, participating, being part of the changes, truly working in, with, and during these unprecedented and increasingly faster changes. Fascinating.

27 January 26, 2009

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Family, Gibberish, Grad school, International Relations, Life, Media, New Media, Reminiscing, Superfluous musings.
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I turn 27 on the 27th. I used to look ahead to this distant date and wonder what exciting things I would be up to. Turns out – not much. I do love my life – I have a wonderful family that isn’t too scattered. I live in a nice town. I have beautiful memories – recent and old. I feel peaceful and happy at home.  But there are also many things I’ve yet to reach for – graduate school and the pursuit of more knowledge being the primary star.

But then I look around the world and realize that I don’t deserve to complain and whine about the things I’ve yet to achieve. I just have to do them. And what’s a better time than now – when the world is so involved, so open and yet mysterious. There is an international economic crisis. There are the persistent hunger, disease, violence and suppression problems with the difference that nowadays they are as familiar and proximate as the Internet and all of its media ancesorts can make them, ushering them into our living rooms continuously. There is so much impact to have. It’s definitely overwhelming, but it is also urgent and inviting at the same time.

Perhaps that is the significance of 27 – the year I will take the ultimate tangable action towards those abstract dreams. Amen.

This is not one of those age-related crises. At least I don’t htink it is. If anything it is an interesting fascination with the number. Besides the fact that it is 27 on the 27th, it has also been sort of dear number. The favorite of mine is 3, 2+7=9=3^3.

:)

Belated Obama speech notes April 24, 2008

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Education, Elections 2008, Family, Grad school, Life, New Media, Reminiscing, Superfluous musings, Writing.
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Been meaning to translate the few notes I had jotted down about Obama’s speech on race in the United States into typed words… and the notepad sheets have been sitting on my desk for weeks now. First of all – note that video on the Barack Obama web site is a YouTube video of the CNN footage – just pointing that out as a new media enthusiast and Wikinomics reader. ;) Now to my thoughts, randomly jotting down about the time of the speech – mid-March:

I would love to have analyzed the speech from pure rhetoric theory because his speeches are usually written as textbook examples of following basics that enhance the message and complement an otherwise inspirational delivery (starting with a hook, weaving through reoccurring themes, starting and beginning with the same topic to frame the speech in a whole and bring it to a natural conclusion -  and a slew of other techniques (like anecdotes, jokes, etc.) that make the speech so much easier to follow and engaged with). But I won’t go down that path because I am rusty and to begin with I only had the 101 speech class knowledge to rely on.

The white grandmother anecdote make some cringe. They wouldn’t do that to their grandmothers – embarrass them like that in front of the whole nation, critics said. The story was genuine, it was about “covert” racism, the kind that is not on the surface or even recognized by the person wielding it. I wondered about that too. There is a person in my immediate family who I could say a lot of the same about, on a very similar, close-to-heart story. But would I? Actually, I would. I don’t see why not. I don’t see how making the anecdote public is condemning them as a bad person. Everyone has some bias or another. But all has to be put in context of each person’s unique world view. Otherwise, we would all be hypocrites.

Obama did put the story of his white grandmother in context. And I am glad he did so. It is a much more common story nowadays with so many mixed couples of so many different backgrounds, and certainly not just in the United States.

Obama put the story of his grandmother in context like he put the story of his pastor in context – he grew up in an era of suppression of black people’s potential and opportunities. There are certain attitudes in my family I dislike as well, but I am not about to disown them. I know the context in which they were raised and their world views formed (in Bulgaria), my world view is a product of theirs and my own experiences – it’s a new prism (Bulgaria, the United States and brief trips to many other countries only since 2004 – until then I only knew these aforementioned two countries… odd isn’t it?).

I took issue not with his mention of his grandmother’s bias, but with his comment about jobs abroad. The thought of a protectionist president in today’s global and vibrant economy just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Listening to his speech gave me a new wave of ideas for a book or thesis – perhaps something I can work on after grad school acceptance when I’m more relaxed about my future but still with some buffer time before I tackle it head-on.

racism/Obama’s experience & world viewe/speech/immigration/my experience & world view/global economy

I look back at my own past attitudes and the growth and learning I’ve experienced consciously and subconsciously and it scares me somewhat. I tell the anecdote of the African exchange students (college level) at the public transportation bus stop outside the English language high school and my classmates’ hurtful comments; I also frequently share the story about a journalism teacher who really pushed me to look inside myself and recognize those learning moments in my first weeks in the United States when I met people of different ethnicities and cultures for the first time. Those memories are insightful but also bitter and painful because they prove I wasn’t perfect and by extrapolation it means that I may not be at the end of that journey yet – and that’s what truly scares me.

Nostalgia for a type of writing art April 24, 2008

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Food, Grad school, Media, Reminiscing, Superfluous musings, Work, Writing.
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Took my lunch at a nearby mall, as I often do, a few days ago. I like to go there because there’s a Starbucks on the top floor that I like and if I’ve brought food from home I can either get a coffee and sit there to read my book or go to the food court, not buy anything and sit, read, and eat my packed lunch. Of course, if spring would come around, I would start eating my lunch in the park outside the office. :)

I digress.

What’s also nice about going to that mall is that frequently there is something going on outside in the town square (a festival or protest with a whole bunch of horse-mounted policemen patrolling) or in the mall itself. So this particular afternoon there were several perishable food sculptures in the small fountain and plant area in the mall. I saw them from the second floor and was on my way out by then, but I wanted to take a picture of them and talk to the slew of junior-high-aged students standing around them… and I wanted to write a blog about it and partner it with some photos. The next day I went back, this time with a camera, and while I didn’t take pictures (I had lunch and then went shopping with a coupon that was expiring, leaving me next to no time to get back to the office after my long break), I did look at one of signs and it turns out they are world hunger awareness projects, like a competition for sculptors who arranged canned food, spaghetti and boxes of Crisco into: two giant robots boxing inside a rink, an oversized monopoly board with dice, etc., a humongous red apple with a curled worm coming out of it, and a crusie ship.

I guess my pangs of nostalgia for journalism surface when I see something cool like that, especially given the world food crisis that’s all over the news lately. This would be a story of how some local companies (well “local” being relative) like Whole Foods partnered to do this competition and raise awareness.

It’s strange because I don’t have a strong desire to go back to journalism. It is a dying art and the pay is pretty deadly too. But at the same time I am worried I don’t have a niche yet. The comfortable feeling of writing features is starting to stir up again and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

At least there are steps being taken toward the grad school path, which is helping me breathe easier – GRE class starts this weekend! Yay!

Two-in-one: Vocabulary builder and philanthropy vehicle March 2, 2008

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Food, Grad school, Life.
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This is fun, great for wanna-be GRE test takers (or SAT or TOEFL or… take your pick of a vocabulary-demanding, future-determining test). Obviously I have a dire need for this exercise, plus it has a very intriguing bonus – rice donations to poor corners of the world via the UN World Food Programme. Check it out!

Girls vs. Boys March 2, 2008

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Education, Grad school, Life, Superfluous musings.
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Why is it usually we say “boys vs. girls”? It comes natural, like man and woman, husband and wife, brother and sister. But that’s all a tangent … heh, I’m starting this entry with a tangent to the actual entry.

I’ll admit, I didn’t read the full article yet, but I have to put my thoughts down before I finish or else my mind will wander into so many different facets of the issue, I will forget some of my original reactions or get discouraged by realizing just how many arguments I would like to bring into my writing…

One of the things I’ve thought about studying in grad school is education – comparing education practices and results from different cultures, different nations, different continents. I was very curious in the motivation for a certain school district superintendent (I covered the education beat at a community newspaper for about a year) required all of his administrative staff, including all principals at all schools – elementary-through-secondary level – read Thomas L. Friedman’s “The World Is Flat.” I read it sometime after I left my newspaper job, and I took up his enthusiasm. I loved that a U.S. superintendent was inspired, motivated, and ambition-driven thanks to a parallel of education elsewhere…

But this New York Times article really did take me by surprise. I am certain there is research supporting what is commonly known already – that girls and boys, in the context of a gross generalization, learn differently. After all, they are socialized differently (and arguably hardwired differently). Makes sense. But separating them in classrooms by gender?!

When I was growing up in Bulgaria I was always in the most competitive schools, in the most competitive class in my grade (in great part owing to a stubborn and relentless mother). And in many ways I was a typical girl, I suppose. I was shy around boys, painfully so in parts of my childhood (~5-7 grade… with few exceptions and a bit less so in the first two years in high school – prep year when we studied only a foreign language and few other subjects, and 8th grade). Girls, I believe one of the arguments goes, are less likely to be vocal in class and are called on less frequently. Well, the school system I was brought up in is based not only on tests (not multiple choice, mind you!) and essays you write either at home or in the classroom as a sort of test, plus consistent homework that is corrected and graded, but also at least one, sometimes more of your several grades per class per term are based on oral examination. If you are being examined (oh, such a dreaded thing, but inevitable), you and maybe one or two more students, are on the spot all day in that class. The teacher drills you with questions on back lessons as well as the most recent one; lectures on the new one, and still might throw a few questions your way just to keep you unnerved. All the while you’re standing up while the rest of the class is sitting – or, if it’s a math, chemistry or physics class, you are on the board solving a problem in front of everyone and answering questions on theorems and formulas (or showing the path of such and such khan on an ancient map that doesn’t look anything like the country you’re familiar with (history) or pointing out different locations and talking about their climate, etc. on a current map (geography). Such an experience was dreaded by everyone, but it meant that it put everyone on the spot at some time or another and there was a lot of shared sympathy and no one was ever mean to anyone who did poorly on an oral exam.

The system meant girls got to talk in class and it really did break us into the bravery of raising our hands even when we weren’t examined. I thought back to those trying years and I don’t want to imaging what it would have been like if girls and boys were separated. I liked having an equal number of both in class – it taught me how boys reason by listening to their answers, it created lasting bonds and friendships with both girls and boys, for this shy girl. Overall, I think it was a rounding experience and I wouldn’t trade it in. Being in co-ed classrooms with boys also taught me how mean some of them can be and I am glad I learned a lesson like that as well, which gradually dissipated as I got into the higher high school grades and college.

However, that is my singular experience. And perhaps it skews my point of view much too much. Of course I also haven’t really studied the issues enough, and am not a trained educator myself. It just seems that if one of the arguments for separating girls and boys at school is that they have different social experiences, I have to wonder why that isn’t a reason for keeping them in the same classroom – to learn from each other and about each other as well as from their teachers.

On strangers and “fate” November 14, 2007

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Grad school, Life.
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I recognize that most of the time when I consider something to be a sign, it is merely a circumstance or coincidence I ascribe more specific importance to as a result of a self-centered outlook. Yet, I will indulge in this little nugget: At Starbucks today, the one that’s near the office where I go sometimes to work (when I have writing or editing I need to concentrate on) or to read on my lunch break, I sat across a stranger. A stranger who doodled on his Starbucks napkin with an ink pen – the same kind of pen and style of writing (although he was mostly drawing) that was written on a napkin a few weeks ago when I sat there working. That left-behind napkin of a few weeks ago had a fateful message (what do you want of this life?) and I read it as a sign that I should make a more concerted effort when it comes to grad school aspirations. Today, I couldn’t help but smile thinking this may have been the same person who left behind that first message. I was reading “What to Do with Your English or Communications Degree” book on grad schools. How fitting.

The stranger did not leave a napkin behind this time around. He did disappear quick quickly and unnoticeably, though, very fittingly mysterious. He wore jeans and flip flops (the thong kind), sported a beard, was probably in his late 20s, and tucked his legs on the chair as he sat sipping his Starbucks drink from a bright red paper cup with a white holiday snow scene etched in the seasonal design.

In retrospect: Missing academia November 13, 2007

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Grad school, Life, Reminiscing, Writing.
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This weekend was a wonderful one. It was Nate’s 30th birthday. It was a wonderful, intimate celebration with brunch, dinner and cake, and keeping everything low key and fun. We discovered a great new brunch restaurant in the Pearl District – Isabel’s and we went to our favorite Indian restaurant for dinner. We spent Saturday afternoon at Wordstock, the Portland writers’ convention. I went into the festival thinking I would enjoy browsing books, perhaps talk with some publishing houses about the outlandish idea of writing a memoir – my mother’s dream more so than mine, but of late, seriously considering it myself for my own reasons.

I thought I might see a few school represented. I wasn’t mistaken there. (I was, however, not so lucky with the publishers looking for new talent… they were there, mostly local companies, looking to promote their most recent products… understandable. No big deal anyway, although I would have been curious to have a chat with someone.) I made a contact with a University of Oregon professor who runs the undergraduate internship program in Portland. He said he knows our company’s owner. I’m getting used to that – everyone seems to know him. It was just like everyone knowing a college professors of mine from the journalism department, who had spent decades working for the Tacoma News Tribune and other prominent media outlets in the Puget Sound area and elsewhere.

It was nice to have made a professional connection. I am supposed to be doing more networking anyway.

That wasn’t nearly as inspiring, though, as the two lectures we heard. They were talks as part of the Wordstock schedule of speakers and the first presentation we heard was from hosted by the University of Oregon. The topic was Investigative Journalism and the three panelists were Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada of the San Francisco Chronicle, and Nigel Jaquiss, a Pulitzer prize winning reporter from the Willamette Week (a Portland alternative weekly newspaper). It is not that the discussion made me realize that I miss the grind of day-to-day journalism work (not to deny that I like that and have fond memories of it, mixed in with a few bitter ones – for learning experience’s sake), rather the inspiration came in the form of a realization that I am desperately starved for lectures, discussions, research into current and developing trends in journalism and international relations. I miss school. I’ve been reading up on grad school prospects lately – just trying to get a sense of what grad school would be like – and I am not 100 percent certain if I miss the undergraduate academic experience in and of itself (i.e. a strong sense of community within the departments, etc.) or what I gather is the graduate school experience (i.e. more research-focused, narrow topics, a lot more 1:1 work with professors (which I actually really tended to enjoy in undergraduate as well), more stringent workloads, etc.). Whatever it is that I was reminiscing for (not that I can reminisce about grad school when I’ve never attended one), the tug to academia was strong and I just wanted to jump back in, dive into the discussions, attend a million more events where I could hear panels like this one, and write papers about them, quote excerpts from the talks in my research on the subject, ask questions and engage the panelists in a lengthy and well-informed discussion afterwards…

A few of snippets I collected in my little notebook (I couldn’t help it… I resisted for a long time, but finally caved to taking notes):

  • scoops will be more important as journalism changes and becomes more competitive (Lance)
  • newspapers are dying; it will be a slow death, but they will die and not enough revenue is generated online yet (Nigel)
  • Federal prosecutors go after reporters every few weeks; not about protecting reporters, but about public information and public access; states have shield laws; Federal – not; hence the problem; understand the concern of “online journalists” who wonder if they will be protected by a Federal level shield law, but the issue is greater than that (Lance)
  • bring it on – because our stories were “extreme lawering” – question was: will you get civil lawsuits by Bary Bonds if he’s not indited for the drug use you uncovered (Mark)
  • editor vs sensor & how do you define a citizen journalist & should they be covered by a Federal shield law? (yours truly)

There were 100-150 people at this panel (thank you Joanne for teaching me to always jot down an estimate of the number of attendees at any event… scan the room, cont a group of people of about 10 to see what the looks like and then extrapolate/estimate the rest of the crowd). What struck me is that very few were young people. Perhaps predictable given the venue was Wordstock but a bit disappointing considering the stage hosting the panel was the University of Oregon. Not many in the audience were journalists, I judge that by the questions during the Q&A – including what is the Federal shield law (currently in the works) and who falls under it, etc. The topics in the discussion interested me immensely … I was on the edge of my seat, nodding, smiling at the panelists when they made a point I was familiar with, getting overly excited when they mentioned a concept I remember studying… But the trouble is, I do not want to work in the field anymore… or if I do, it is likely not in community newspapers where I belong (done that, not my cup of tea, unfortunately). I don’t believe I have a good grasp on what I need to be as a journalist and I have heavy criticism for myself when it comes to keeping the readership in mind when researching and writing a story. I think I belong in the research and teaching area of the discipline, especially interested in law, ethics and new media angles. However, I also know that it would be difficult to impossible to obtain a grad school degree and teach a subject so hands on in its nature where I have such a minimal term of experience.

It is a dilemma yet to be resolved.  Than you, Nate, for talking me into stopping at this panel. Wish I had caught the one on magazine writing, one of my unexplored passions.

The second inspirational talk we listened to at Wordstock was from Adrian Tomine, a graphic novelist who had recently put out a new book. Nate hadn’t heard of him specifically, but being such a devoted reader of the genre, he wanted to hear this author’s take. Of course, he ended up buying the book afterward, devouring it by the end of the weekend and now I can’t wait to read it myself.

What was inspiratoinal to me was that he seemed like a great story teller, witty, yet carrying a lot of sadness and heavy wisdom. Young man. Very familiar looking. A bit harsh and cold from a distant perspective, but warming up to you very much while his talk takes you away into his creative process, his intriguing inspirations, his interesting and frank take on the craft that is graphic novel creation.

Here are my random notes from that session (yes, indeed, I caved again and took notes in my notebook… the fact that I brought a little notebook just shows how well I know myself and how I anticipated to miss the academia during this experience):

  • lives in New York City (Brooklyn) with his wife; how contemporary; I want that for Nate and I – should we both go the artsy, creative route vs. the service-oriented research and academia route;
  • dinner scene @ restaurant (sushi) – where a couple next to them were discussing his latest book; the woman had recommended it, the man was heatedly criticizing it;
  • San Francisco (SoHo district) (Nate and I recently visited San Francisco after I was there on a business trip, my second time in the city, his – first; I visited with a Bulgarian friend who lives there now too) – used it in his book too; the architecture, the culture, inspirational;
  • the viability of this genre and making a living in it (when before he was sleeping on the floors of comic book shop owners);
  • and then the restaurant where the woman pushed his coming to her boyfriend’s attention; the man taking it seriously enough to critique in depth rather than dismiss it; and also this discussion in public and at length – they were not ashamed at all; just how has our society changes with comic books…
  • English major @ University of California, Berkley; works in studio, acts out & speaks out loud the gestures and dialog his characters do – to make a more realistic representation on the page; his method changed – from scripting first and then drawing off of a Word-typed, listed format script, to sketching and writing at the same time;

Rainy days and bitter news October 28, 2007

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Grad school, Life, Reminiscing, Work.
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How fitting? I am sitting in a Starbucks in the Pacific Northwest on a rainy afternoon, working… I am also taking a small break to blog this – probably to be finished later tonight…

On such a gray afternoon, I got an e-mail announcing a colleague has been laid off. How sad and unsettling. It is true our clients have been shrinking budgets lately but even if there’s an independent reason such as this, it is still very difficult to swallow. It shakes one’s confidence in their own value to the company and clients.

On a slightly uplifting note, which helped me get through the day without moping, I found a lonely neat napkin on the table I picked (out of all the ones, as the coffee shop was practically empty when I first went in) at Starbucks. On the back was a handwritten message in black pen with a squiggle as the underline and the ink bleeding slightly into the beige recycled paper. “what do you want from this life?” The question was a philosophical summary of what Nate replied earlier the same day in an e-mail to one of my blogs – or perhaps it was a “deep” e-mail I wrote to him while sitting with a cup of tea in front of my monitor first thing in the morning at work. *shrug* He basically wrote – as he has done before and I should heed his advice – that life is about finding a balance between planning and enjoying the moment and the key is to figure out what we want from life.

The signs have been overwhelming lately – I need (and desperately want) to get my grad school plans in active motion.

Puppies and red wine October 3, 2007

Posted by midnightzimadreams in Dogs, Grad school, Life, Reminiscing.
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No, they don’t have anything to do with each other. But I’m having a mellow night and this will turn into a steam of consciousness entry anyway, so I didn’t feel like putting forth the effort to create a suitable title.

About puppies. Nate and I have been talking about getting a dog for some time now. In the spring we did a lot of research, visited the shelter a few times, bought a few books and browsed local breeder Web sites. We settled on a Boston terrier. But we were never quite ready for one – we haven’t yet researched the details of the local pet day care and vets and have yet to sit down and budget properly. It’s sad because in the mean time, a good friend of ours bought a pug puppy and now a colleague of mine adopted a lab mix – just a few days ago. At first our goal was to have a puppy (or an adult, rescued dog) by the end of summer. We are now well into fall… Time flies but we have to do our homework in order to be properly prepared.

The second part of my musings this evening have to do with fall itself. I’ve always liked baked pumpkin – the way my grandma made it with a bit of sugar sprinkled on top and toasted to crisp brown/deep orange in the oven. But yesterday I had my first pumpkin flavored drink of the season and it felt like a brand new appreciation for the squash. And earlier today I have my first craving this autumn for a hot chocolate with cinnamon. I had two – the second one home made with dinner (the first was a Starbucks treat). And I’m closing off the evening with a glass of red wine – it has a certain spice to it that reminds me of the warm red wine with herbs sold by the glass at Christmas markets in the biting cold of German towns and cities. It’s almost winter and I think it will be a charming one. I’m already wearing my fingertips-free, elbow-long knit gloves at work some of the time.

Tomorrow should be an interesting new. I am resolved to finally spend the day researching graduate school programs. We’ll see how far that gets me given my long list of chores. I’m taking a couple of days off work and there seems like there is so much to do when all I really want is to curl up with some more cinnamon-enhanced hot chocolate and alternate my day between reading The Hound of The Baskervilles and napping.