Hot summer, living in the city May 14, 2012
Posted by midnightzimadreams in Family, Friends, Gibberish, Grad school, Life, Psyche, Reminiscing, Superfluous musings, Work.add a comment
It’s hot in Seattle. Very much summer-like. It makes me a tad lazy and sleepy. I am grateful, though, that at least in my busy day, running from one commitment to another, I’m at least running through a beautiful green campus and taking in the outdoors.
I have also been thinking about how fast my life has been, how I don’t do well (mentally, that is) if I’m under-utilized, etc. It feels good to be in a swirl of things, but I am also thinking a lot about priorities in life lately. Call it a quarter-ish-life crisis? I want to spend time with my loved ones more and make that my top priority, cut myself some slack when I’m not doing “stellar” in every thing I’m getting involved with (though it is nice to deliver well on the things I commit to and try my best)… I guess I’m craving a better compartmentalization of school and work commitments on one side and social and family/friends commitments on the other (acknowledging these often interplay).
Oh, it’s the same ‘ol story about finding that elusive balance in life. I guess I’m revisiting it because it was recently hinted that my health (amount of sleep and quality and timing of meals during the school/work week) have been suffering. But in the same breath expectations of multi-tasking and doing it well were reiterated. So, I’ve been thinking lately how I know a lot of people who appear to do it ALL. better, but I am also convinced lately that life is such a different state for the different people I look up to… I am finding new merit in the wisdom of someone very dear to me – to be truly happy and live in the moment, I must stop comparing myself to others. My life is mine and it’s unique. I guess the only thing is – it’s nice to hear that people you respect and look up to (not compare yourself to 
) respect you in return, value your efforts, your contributions, and are proud of your achievements. It’s nice (and empowering, uplifting) to hear that once in a while.
P.S. I fear being not-good at all things I take up, simply because I am stretched too thin or worse, because I choose not to prepare properly because I am too busy but still want to enjoy time with my family and friends.
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Later friends March 9, 2012
Posted by midnightzimadreams in 30-day resolution of 2012, Friends, Grad school, Life, Reminiscing.add a comment
Someone must have told me (because I’m not sure where I got this idea) that you make your closest friends in college. Maybe it comes from the Mrs. Degree idea. But it’s rung true in my life. Of course I have good, lasting friendships from high school, from childhood, from work, from some hobbies, etc. But undergraduate university did supply a great number of very, very close friends. So, I am somewhat pleasantly surprised to be once again making close friends – in grad school. I am not sure why I am surprised, except maybe because I think of myself as someone who makes friends slowly and life has never been quite so “slow” anymore since living on campus surrounded by people with similar goals in life.
I do love discovering this new friends channel. I am sentimentalist and still don’t quite understand it when people uproot and move, because I love connections and proximity to people.
The important things in life: Family, friends, and guilt-free Sunday afternoons February 26, 2012
Posted by midnightzimadreams in 30-day resolution of 2012, Friends, Games, Grad school, Life.add a comment
Here’s the next new goal – make my weekends so productive in homework that by Sunday afternoons I can take a deep breath and relax and feel guilt-free. I know, it’s silly. I have been struggling with a few bad habits for most of my life, but procrastination is bubbling back up with such revenge, that I think I need to target it with the deserved vigor. Saw three groups of friends this weekend, one set – twice. Had a wonderful time at good meals, entertaining games, and lots of laughter and genuine smiles infused throughout. But it’s now Saturday late afternoon and I haven’t done any of the goals I had thought about homework-wise. Second weekend in a row when I arrive at this stage and am completely frustrated with myself. So, new rules – homework first, at least some of it – and then the bliss of carefree enjoyment of life.
I’ve been getting better at enjoying life in the moment, thinking positive thoughts, and smiling more. But there is still a big gap that prevents me from really loving myself from a practice point of view. I’ll report back – wish me luck.
Balance.
First snow of 2012 January 14, 2012
Posted by midnightzimadreams in 30-day resolution of 2012, Friends, Life.add a comment
Simple thought today – more time with friends. First (slushy, rained out) snow of the year and a yummy vegan brunch with friends made for a warm Saturday. That and a good classic book, plus real milk-cocoa-honey hot chocolate.
Also, I am tacking on another resolution. I’d like to have smile lines, not frown lines when I grow old. Went to a favorite restaurant last night that we hadn’t been in a while. They have some very clever poems framed in the bathroom stalls. One is from the voice of an old lady who’s letting her inhibitions go and “wearing a purple hat with a red dress, which doesn’t go.” I have been trying to smile more lately. And now, every time I feel myself frowning, I pull the corners of my mouth up and think of that poem.
