Valya’s Blog

I thought I stared death in the face today. It was my grandmother. She gave us a big scare. It was incredibly difficult to go through. It is amazing what thoughts and emotions can keep flying through your mind when you are on the verge of losing a most important person. You think you know yourself until you experience one of these moments and then you are reminded of how you really react in situations of life and death.

I was saddened by the amount of blame pushing I tried to do in light of my overwhelming fear of loss and my constant guilt of putting her in a potentially jeopardizing situation when I should know better.

How fragile life is. How precious. I guess I am keeping this note purposly vague because it is only intended to help me cope.